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This is my third attempt at writing this post.
I don't know whether I don't know where to start or just that there isn't enough room to vent everything in one post... This week I received details sent to retailers regarding the new line from Rodial named 'Crash Diet' being released in January. Yes. 'Crash Diet.' This shouldn't be surprising seeing as it came from a brand that gave us 'Tummy Tuck', 'Boob Job', 'Stretch Mark Eraser', 'Bum Lift' and 'Skinny Beach' (more of which later), but surprised I was. Or maybe that should be horrified. 'Crash Diet' is undoubtedly aimed at women. It is packaged in fuschia/hot/bubblegum pink.
It wouldn't look amiss with Hello Kitty or Barbie sticking out of the top of it (I am not showing any visuals or linking to the website). And releasing it in January is great marketing - how many people don't start a diet for the New Year? Well, me, but.....
The full kit contains: Crash Diet Sticks Crash Diet Smoothie Crash Diet (body gel) and retails for £149.00. The recommendation is that you do this for two weeks during which you can 'lose up to 6"!' It doesn't say where you lose the inches from so if you're a man I would definitely think this through. There are a LOT of claims listed in this PDF. I'm sure they have full scientific backing that Rodial would make available if asked. *eyebrow* Some text lifted straight from the page: 'Over-indulged this holiday season? Need to shift some weight on a hurry? Desperate to squeeze into a dress for that special occasion?' 'This super easy and nutritionally balanced 2-week programme helps you look fabulous - fast!' 'Melt fat fast and drain away excess water retention and toxins with crash diet sticks' 'Smooth your way to a firmer and slimmer silhouette with crash diet' And my favourite: 'We're happy skipping meals with this tasty banana and strawberry flavoured crash diet smoothie' Really? 'Happy skipping meals'? There is no full ingredient listing but it does list the following: Smoothie: Milk proteins, banana, strawberry, grape dry extract - £48 for 10 sachets - take 1-2 sachets a day.
To be fair I'm sure there's more in it than milk - after all who would pay 4.80 for a milkshake? Sticks: Cherry stalk, Meadowsweet, Ash Leaf dry extract, Green coffee seed dry extract, guarana, green tea leaf dry extract - £48 for 14 sticks - to be fair I'm sure there's more in it than diuretics - after all who would pay £3.43 for a stick when you can have a cup of tea and buy a can of Red Bull for under a quid? Crash Diet body sculpting gel: Redulite and Iso-Slim complex - both trademarked names to Rodial which means I've absolutely no idea what they contain but to be fair I'm sure they're excellent and again, scientifically proven. *eyebrow* All that aside, it's not the claims I'm interested in. It's the message. The words 'fat' and 'weight' are used 16 times with a negative connotation in this presentation.
The diet industry is estimated to be worth 100 million dollars this year. I don't blame Rodial for wanting a slice of that pie. Nor do I blame Rodial for jumping on the celebrity bandwagon (they have a whole tab devoted to them on their website). The Western World is addicted to celebrity - especially skinny celebrities that just 'eat a lot of veggies!' Likewise, I too eat a lot of veggies, accompanied by a lot of protein and a lot of carbs. And butter. And preferably cheese. Melted. But where do we draw the line? When is it too much? As far as I am aware and according to medical professionals, crash diets (the un-trademarked type) are only recommended under medical supervision pre-surgery for medically obese people.
So, as the mother of a daughter and an aunt to 15 gorgeous nieces, and as its my blog, and you've clearly been kind enough to read thus far, allow me to share with you my message: I love my boobs. They've breastfed 4 babies and look like it. And I love'em. My tummy was flat as a pancake until I had a c-section. So now I have a muffin top tummy - and a gorgeous 6 year old son. I call that a more than fair trade-off. I have stretch marks. Not loads but they're there. What of it? I have a big bum. I love it. And if I want it to 'lift', I walk. Problem solved. Works every time.
And the only way I would be a skinny 'bitch' is if I stopped eating and was grumpy. Which I would be. G.R.U.M.P.Y. Please, I beg you, for the LOVE OF CARBS, be sensible, don't skip meals, and if you need to 'fit into that dress!'?, buy A NEW DRESS THAT FITS YOU.
